I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
