Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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