M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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