I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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