Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
