I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
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These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
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First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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