You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
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