Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
