I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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