i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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