I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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