when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
