he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
