I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You made out with two different species that night
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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