So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Randomize
