would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
