Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
smell my finger.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Randomize
