i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
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I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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