Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
