you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize