K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
