I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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