Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
