I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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