i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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