if you like me you must not know who I am
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
