We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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