from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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