butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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