I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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