you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
