I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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