hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
