Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
