Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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