Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
