There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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