Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
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