idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
