She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just want nice things and good sex
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
