you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize