He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
