Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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