i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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