I want to have your abortion
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
