The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
