It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I don't deserve a penis
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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