just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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