Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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