Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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