I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
