I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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