Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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