so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The beers last night were like the tears from god
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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