Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I have post one night stand depression
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
