I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Girls should come with a carfax report
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
