He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
