Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
