If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
This baby is an asshole
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
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