why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
