The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Don't make out with my wife yet
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
