i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Who died my cat blue again?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize