I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
