Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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